Symphony of the heart

"Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand will lead me,And Your right hand will lay hold of me." (Psalm 139:7-10)
Your faithfulness, God...
Your faithfulness has proven to be something I can hold on to.

Remembering times with You
and times I thought I was without You
I see that You are here to stay...
You will never leave me.

There were times where I was full of Your Spirit.
It felt as if I was with You,
with You and only You...
The room closed in around me
and, as I lay there, Your joy began to fill my heart.
I had nothing left,
no words,
no thoughts,
other than that of Your praises.

I was with You and it seemed like it was for an eternity,
An eternity of sheer delight,
Not a moment of it dull.

Then,
there were times where I felt that Your Spirit was absent,
my heart a complete void
where You could not possibly dwell...
Is this what the psalmist referred to when he pondered
making his bed in Sheol?

Nothing could be more painful than
life without You.

Further and further I pushed You away
as condemnation taunted and fear persuaded.
There was no way You would want to be with me,
no way you could love that girl that was full of self interest and
that was prone to mistakes...

Still You pressed through the barriers
You tore down the walls
Just to get to Your beloved.

I remember the day You called,
still fresh in my mind...
rows and rows of wooden pews
covered in purple velvet cushions,
I pressed my hands against the cushions and
set my church shoes on the carpet
as I began to rise,
not knowing quite what was in store.

A call
to come and know the Savior of the World,
to come and take the free gift You offered,
Your gentle arms beckoning.
The journey of a lifetime
I was about to embark on.
Little did I know that I would be here, now.

You called me to embark on a journey,
You called me from a place of death and
brought me into life,
A life full of freedom and joy.
Why do I tend to forget that you have paid it all for me?

Yet,
You continue to sing over me,
starting a new measure with each repeat
After each slip up
I pick up where I left off
You fill in with notes of grace
And a beautiful melody arises

I am starting to remember...
Remember that You are the composer.
You are the one with the vision
You are the one with the wisdom
You know me,
the instrument,
all too well.
So, with Your breath filling my lungs
I swell up with Your love
I pour out a tune
with a few quirks from the defects
and things that need to be tweaked.
You see no big obstacle,
Only a few tune ups.

This song,
It brings you great joy
As each new note hits Your ears.
And You take great delight in writing,
flooding empty pages with new notes,
A symphony of grand proportions,
a diverse convergence of flavors and styles from many places.
All the world is an orchestra,
A mash up of many many instruments
Each with their own piece
In this neverending story of love.

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