Not going back

Today I heard a word on not letting the past define you.
So many times I have made excuses...
"I was diagnosed..." "I haven't done that in years..." "When I was in the hospital..."
or even, "my medicine makes me..." (not necessarily about the past, but still something I let define me that really does not)

The easy thing to do is to always make an excuse for why you can't do something.
Though it may be harder, I have found it much more rewarding to push past the "I can'ts" and the "I've nevers". It is the boldness and perseverance that the Lord has been cultivating in me that has brought me this far.

Trust me. It is not easy at all.

There are so many times I have wanted to give up and just be lazy. There were times that I thought all of the effort I had put in amounted to nothing.

Another thing that I had been working on had been openness. I learned that bringing things to light can be painful and terrifying, but healing. In this pushing forward and "pressing on toward the finish line", I have learned much the same. It has been painful and terrifying, but healing and, like I said, rewarding. The reward of knowing that I glorified the Father in what I did is worth much more than anything else.

I find it hurts much more to look back and realize that I had held back on what I could've done. In fact, part of what plagued me when I was hospitalized was a flood of memories of times that I could've done more. The accuser attacked me with so much, saying I had done wrong. The beauty of God's grace, now I'm finding in His love, is that He gives us many "second chances". I am ever grateful for His love and that He, our Father, is the judge; that He sent His Son to take our place. Beautiful.

What was beautiful about today was the singing congregation. And the songs that we sung were amazing. So profound.

Again, I think... what if we actually took the power in the words of the songs that we sang to God and put them to action.
I guess that is why we sing those words. It reminds us of who we are, who our God is and the truth found in His Word.

Today we sang about how God is more than able...
that is why we are able to be more than conquerors, I thought to myself.
He enables us to do so much more than we could have ever imagined we'd do.

It is so easy to live in the past and make excuses, but I don't want to take that route. I want to live in the unexpected, uncharted waters; wherever He leads me. I trust that He has a path for me that is better than I would've planned for myself.

I know that it will be difficult at times, but I want to trust in Him with all that I have.