Shine!

I know that, no matter what... no matter who you are... no matter how hard you have tried to hide it... there has been a moment where you have felt like you were on the outside.

It breaks my heart to see people feel that way, because no one should have to feel left out or alone. The other day I met a guy while I was at work and his response to what I was telling him struck me.

He was one of the "types" that people would say would "never amount to anything", that would "never care about the meaningful things" and certainly not the type that anyone would willingly approach expecting a response welcoming conversation.

Yet he stared attentively as I told him about the thousands of people in Sierra Leone that needed aid. And as I told him about the weight of the situation, I saw his eyes begin to water. 

"That's terrible... I really wish I could do something..."

Then he assured me he would be back to make a donation. And the tears in his eyes made me want to cry. There is just something so special about the heart of those who are too often misunderstood. 

But aren't we all longing for understanding?

Some, it seems, more so than others.

So, why do we insist on putting each other down and excluding our brothers?

I just pray that the flame that burns so bright in the hearts of those in which you would least expect it... I pray that the passion continues to burn brighter and brighter until the world is set on fire with love for one another.

What will it take?

It will take the attention of those with compassion and openness to draw out and point out the best qualities of others around them. It will take vulnerability. It will take love, true love... a love like Jesus showed... a love that will melt away the sorrows and cause a spark to ignite into a flame. 

We need change.

We need to stop being afraid to approach one another,

To stop judging because one person doesn't do things the way that another may do things.

It takes a realization that each person on this planet was created with a unique set of qualities, 

a beauty that is unveiled with a little encouragement and care.

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Just one look and I could see

There was something different

Different about the way that you 

Carried yourself

So many others tried to say that

You were different

That you'd never fit in

With the way that they

Went about doing things

But you never let it get you down

Oh, you should never let it get you down

Cause you are special

You are the only one

Of your kind

Let your fire burn 

Brighter

Let your spirit soar

Higher

Cause you were made for

Great things

I can see

You were meant to 

Shine!

Something pure. Something true.

What is love?

That question, reminiscent of a 90s house song... It holds so much weight. I bet many philosophers and laymen alike have pondered over centuries about the meaning of this word that is all too often thrown around.

Love...

It will bring you higher than the clouds...
Then have you plunging lower than the depths of the sea in a bewilderment,
wondering what went wrong and,
"if only things could be different would the outcome change?"

I know I'm not the only one who has wondered, "what am I doing throwing myself in front of buses for this person?"

It is this emotional wreck that comes from sacrifice and investment of time that has me contemplating why in the world, or even universe, would one ever put oneself through the torture.

There is beauty though. A certain beauty from pain that keeps the heart pumping, driven by each step towards forever or any hint of hope.

But does it even take a glimpse of that hope that there will be a future together? Is that true love?
A conditional clause dependent on reciprocation of emotions?

I am convinced that love is something more.

It is not simply flowery words that flatter and stir up emotion.
I believe it is a dedication, a learning experience, and a beautiful display of faithfulness and sacrifice.

I am starting to see that it takes a patient ear combined with a pensive and sensitive mind that considers the other's thoughts and feelings in the hardest of circumstances. It takes a commitment and a conviction that goes beyond the mindset that there is always something better and beyond the thinking that if things start to falter you can just move on. It takes forgiveness. It takes time.

Love is mysterious and we may never fully understand that grand mystery,
The force that compels young ones to travel great distances in an attempt to reunite,
The concoction that causes grown men to act like fools,
It may never be possible to put this concept into words that can accurately express the emotions it incites....
But it may always cause the world to stop and notice when the purest of loves is displayed.

Shine

Made myself an encouraging playlist the other day... And it has been playing on repeat.

It's crazy how meditating on the truth and meaningful lyrics changes things.
There has definitely been a battle between my mind and what I hear and see around me. I feel like I'm  the subject of a Colbie Caillat song sometimes:

"Put your makeup on..."
"Get the latest styles..."
"So they like you (on Tinder or fill in the blank)..."

I'm so glad that I have my Savior and know my Father.
Without Him... I'd be lost.

I want to encourage young girls and even men to embrace who they are.
As I listened to Hawk Nelson's "Made" another battle raged on in my mind:
"What about all the imperfections? There is no way He could've created me in perfection! What if my friends challenge me about their 'imperfections' and say that there is not a God or ask why he made them that way?"

I hear the truth override. Why, when I look at them I don't see imperfection, but strength?
The world tries to mock and pick out faults. God gives me a heart to see the good, to see value and beauty. He did not create the imperfections... They came with the fall... Yet He loves. He loves His children with an unwavering, undying love. He sees beauty shine through the mire of challenges and faults. He is good, loving and faithful.

Trust Him and learn to love and rely on the beautiful Father in Heaven.

He loves you!

Effortless

"Effortless. Effortless, I say to you... My love, that's the way it is."

Simple truth in a word spoken to me by God through a dear friend back home.

I still remember that night. I felt neglected. God never had a special word for me... Or so I thought. Little did I know, He was about to speak lasting truth into my heart that would forever transform the way that I saw Him.

"The door stands open. I see you running. Take my hand, I'll lead you through."

How could I not realize I had been sitting in a prison I kept myself in?
The prison with invisible bars that my mind had created. The enemy laughed as it became easier for him, and day by day he had less of a task to perform as I beat myself up.

Yet, "it is for freedom He set me free".

Freedom.

We all long for it. But how many of us realize that it is not that far out of reach?

Another simple truth... Somewhat cliché... Words taken for granted:

"Seek first His kingdom and all else shall follow."

That is what replayed in my subconscious yesterday as I meditated on the fact that it was God and God alone that would lead, guide, and sustain me throughout the day.

And He did.

I made myself stop going against the grain and just let go.

I picked up my Bible, read His Word and said a prayer to start off the day.

I acknowledged His role and significance in my day.
"This is not my day, Lord, but Yours.... Thank you for it, God."

And like that... Everything fell into place. Peace rushed in like a river. No longer was I swimming upstream, struggling against a current that sought to pull me under.

Effortless... Effortless, I say to you.
His love... The easiest to take in,
If only you would open your heart to receive.

Don't let me go

It's always hard when "all that seems to matter is I don't feel [Him] anymore". But as much as I feel like God has pushed Himself away from me, I listen closely to that still, small voice. He asked, "why are you pushing me away? Why do you shove the door closed?"

It almost brings tears to my eyes knowing that you stand at the door of my heart waiting patiently and I have denied your entrance. Your love is the most beautiful I have ever known. You continue to love me with a steadfast love.

Why should I think or believe that you would reject me or ever stop loving me. You are the most kind and loving person I have ever known, Jesus.

Please don't ever let me go.

Reaching out

"Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky."

Your love...
indescribable.
Your heart,
stretches across the reaches of the sky.

It drives me crazy how good You are, 
while all the while I stumble and have yet to prove faithful.

Sometimes I cry...
I cry at the thought of others not knowing You and Your love.

It has been the hardest to try to help my dear friend. I'm realizing more and more how I can't carry the weight. Some things are best when let go of. But they are not forgotten.

You see every tear. You calm my fears. You know my hurt and pain, and You definitely see his.
Sometimes I think that I could be the one to fix everything. Why? When I have seen how you have always gently carried me through trials and tribulation.

Jesus, I pray... please watch over my friend. I will continue to pray, though my heart is worn from the pain of rejection; he needs You more than I could fathom.

The gift of Life

Help me to remember that this is a gift.

Let everything that I do stem from that idea. Everything that flows from that posture will be extraordinary.

When you realize that this life is not yours in the first place, there is a humbling revelation. From there you have a choice: to continue living as if it were your possession, or to give it all away.

I don't know about you, but I would rather ... give it away.

Just the other day, as I was walking on campus, something struck me in this manner. I saw a dear friend pass by and thought, " what if I moved past selfish intention and went out of my way to make sure that others were loved?"

What kind of radical transformation would occur if we all took that to heart?

I'm longing for the day when we will be as one.