Shine

Made myself an encouraging playlist the other day... And it has been playing on repeat.

It's crazy how meditating on the truth and meaningful lyrics changes things.
There has definitely been a battle between my mind and what I hear and see around me. I feel like I'm  the subject of a Colbie Caillat song sometimes:

"Put your makeup on..."
"Get the latest styles..."
"So they like you (on Tinder or fill in the blank)..."

I'm so glad that I have my Savior and know my Father.
Without Him... I'd be lost.

I want to encourage young girls and even men to embrace who they are.
As I listened to Hawk Nelson's "Made" another battle raged on in my mind:
"What about all the imperfections? There is no way He could've created me in perfection! What if my friends challenge me about their 'imperfections' and say that there is not a God or ask why he made them that way?"

I hear the truth override. Why, when I look at them I don't see imperfection, but strength?
The world tries to mock and pick out faults. God gives me a heart to see the good, to see value and beauty. He did not create the imperfections... They came with the fall... Yet He loves. He loves His children with an unwavering, undying love. He sees beauty shine through the mire of challenges and faults. He is good, loving and faithful.

Trust Him and learn to love and rely on the beautiful Father in Heaven.

He loves you!

Effortless

"Effortless. Effortless, I say to you... My love, that's the way it is."

Simple truth in a word spoken to me by God through a dear friend back home.

I still remember that night. I felt neglected. God never had a special word for me... Or so I thought. Little did I know, He was about to speak lasting truth into my heart that would forever transform the way that I saw Him.

"The door stands open. I see you running. Take my hand, I'll lead you through."

How could I not realize I had been sitting in a prison I kept myself in?
The prison with invisible bars that my mind had created. The enemy laughed as it became easier for him, and day by day he had less of a task to perform as I beat myself up.

Yet, "it is for freedom He set me free".

Freedom.

We all long for it. But how many of us realize that it is not that far out of reach?

Another simple truth... Somewhat cliché... Words taken for granted:

"Seek first His kingdom and all else shall follow."

That is what replayed in my subconscious yesterday as I meditated on the fact that it was God and God alone that would lead, guide, and sustain me throughout the day.

And He did.

I made myself stop going against the grain and just let go.

I picked up my Bible, read His Word and said a prayer to start off the day.

I acknowledged His role and significance in my day.
"This is not my day, Lord, but Yours.... Thank you for it, God."

And like that... Everything fell into place. Peace rushed in like a river. No longer was I swimming upstream, struggling against a current that sought to pull me under.

Effortless... Effortless, I say to you.
His love... The easiest to take in,
If only you would open your heart to receive.

Don't let me go

It's always hard when "all that seems to matter is I don't feel [Him] anymore". But as much as I feel like God has pushed Himself away from me, I listen closely to that still, small voice. He asked, "why are you pushing me away? Why do you shove the door closed?"

It almost brings tears to my eyes knowing that you stand at the door of my heart waiting patiently and I have denied your entrance. Your love is the most beautiful I have ever known. You continue to love me with a steadfast love.

Why should I think or believe that you would reject me or ever stop loving me. You are the most kind and loving person I have ever known, Jesus.

Please don't ever let me go.

Reaching out

"Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky."

Your love...
indescribable.
Your heart,
stretches across the reaches of the sky.

It drives me crazy how good You are, 
while all the while I stumble and have yet to prove faithful.

Sometimes I cry...
I cry at the thought of others not knowing You and Your love.

It has been the hardest to try to help my dear friend. I'm realizing more and more how I can't carry the weight. Some things are best when let go of. But they are not forgotten.

You see every tear. You calm my fears. You know my hurt and pain, and You definitely see his.
Sometimes I think that I could be the one to fix everything. Why? When I have seen how you have always gently carried me through trials and tribulation.

Jesus, I pray... please watch over my friend. I will continue to pray, though my heart is worn from the pain of rejection; he needs You more than I could fathom.