For a while now I had chosen to believe that maybe I should just give up on my healing, that I should suck it up and persevere. I believed that sickness was a lesson so I should simply endure it.
Then, tonight as I was listening the Lord reminded me of the core issue in my heart. There was something he addressed when he told me that I was "perfectly done". Like the paralyzed man that was delivered to Jesus with a sense of urgency, I had a deeper issue than physical illness.
So I went back to my blog post about being fearfully and wonderfully made... I was blown away at what God spoke this time. I listened to the song I attached to the post, "When love sees you" by Mac Powell.
Do you remember the stories of the sick, the outcasts?
What did Jesus always do when they barreled their way through to reach him?
Did He correct them... Or did He commend them for their great faith?
I know now that I can trust my Father and His timing and ability in healing me, from the inside out. He knows what he is doing and He alone is capable of bringing complete restoration.
As I reflect on being fearfully and wonderfully made, I remember that it is not that I am perfect by anyone else's standards; but, just as a father at Vanguard said of his newborn daughter, God looked at me and with the first glance had a deep and unconditional love that nothing or no one could ever change. When He sees me, He sees beauty. When He sees me, He sees all that I can be and so pushes me to that capacity.
